When I write a very witty text post and only 1 person likes it
IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE IT’S ROBERT
(via sillur6)
Some profanity I’d like to hear more often:
- “For the sake of fuck”
- “For shitting out loud”
- “For the fuck of God”
- “Don’t go fucking yourself in the foot”
- “I hope I don’t fuck the toaster on this”
- “Fuckwad”
- “Cocktard”
- “Shitbeak”
- “Cuntsteak”
- “Dunderfuck”
cuntsteak i’m gonna use that one.
These are magical, and I need to not fuck some toasters today
(via the-sock-mountain-troll)
(Source: brinanah, via the-sock-mountain-troll)
if i haven’t said something sexual to you then we probably aren’t good friends
(Source: dream-zanarkand, via the-sock-mountain-troll)
i came into this world covered in someone else’s blood and screaming and lemme tell you i’m not afraid to leave it the same way
(Source: drarna, via the-sock-mountain-troll)
Do you. bite your thumb. at us, sir? I do bite. my thumb, sir. DO YOU BITE YOUR THUMB AT US, SIR? Is the law of our side, if I say ay? No. NO, SIR, I DO NOT BITE MY THUMB AT YOU, SIR, BUT I BITE MY THUMB, SIR. DO YOU QUARREL, SIR? QUARREL SIR! NO, SIR.
Why does this have so many notes.
Do you know who William Shakespeare is
the best “oh I wasn’t talking to you” in history
(via freeze-die-and-explode)
assbutt-sherlocked-in-the-tardis:
OMG I’M LAUGHING SO HARD MY SISTER WAS WATCHING CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN AND FUCKING JARED PADALECKI WAS ON IT AND IN BETWEEN MY TEARS I SAW HIM MAKE THIS FACE
AND I LAUGHED EVEN HARDER BECAUSE I REALIZED HE’S MAKING THE SAME FACE AND GESTURES AS NINE
HANG ON I FIXED IT
(via freeze-die-and-explode)
I feel terrible Ms. Lounds. Never entered my head you might be a vegetarian.
#SHE IS A PREDATOR BUT SHE DOESN’T EAT MEAT (via streussal)
(Source: donblaked, via junes-discotheque)
HAVE YOU EVER WANTED TO BE BEST FRIENDS WITH A TEACHER EVEN THOUGH THEY’RE OLDER THAN YOU AND THEY’RE YOUR TEACHER THE STRUGGLE IS REAL
(via the-sock-mountain-troll)
